Let Them Eat (genetically engineered) Cake

About the food industry, not in a nice way

greg’s monsters

Posted by jeanne on February 25, 2010

this is a transcript of someone i know in a text conversation with someone else i know, late at night.  B is the person driving and texting back incredulously.  G is the person who is seeing monsters.  G is evidently communicating from within an ambien-induced sleep-texting episode.  G has been known to sleep-program (he’s a computer programming genius), sleep-eat, and sleep-converse with his daughter at some length, giving the impression of being awake, but saying and doing strange things, and having no recall later.  we believe this is caused by a combination of paxil during the day, and ambien at night.   both are reported to cause sleepwalking, and ambien is real good at vivid dreams and amnesia.

B got a text from G at twenty to one in the morning, while B was driving.

G: 12:40  there is some kind of monster on the loose…hiding in the basement

B: 12:41  ak-47 time

G: 12:42  it’s coming…i hear it roaring.  i can smell the flames!

B: 12:43  jump

G: 12:44  it’s calling my name!  did you tell it where to find me?

B: 12:45  what

G: 12:45  it says it wants my linux box with telephone support

B: 12:45  did u take your meds?

G: 12:45  the dog isn’t barking.  she must be in on it.  (pixie a miniature schnauzer with a bark that can shatter crystal)

B: 12:46  are u awake

G: 12:47  i’m supposed to be in bed but the scraping noises from its tail woke me up.

B: 12:47  go outside.

G: 12:48  maybe, i’m in the basement so i had to be awake to get here.  why am i naked?

G: 12:49  it’s very loud.  maybe the police will come.

B: 12:49  it saw you naked and ran.

B went home and transcribed his text message exchange with G, and had this comment:

“i have been driving this whole time, that’s why my texts are so short.  but coming into traffic, i just called him.  he answered and said, ‘what am i doing in the basement?’  short call and he went back to bed.”

G now claims that he was wide awake the whole time and just fooling with B, but nobody who knows him believes this.  he went on to sleepwalk down the stairs a few weeks later, and broke his neck when the stairs weren’t there in his dream.  i hope he sues.

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